Chronicle Old sins

In the middle of the road they were standing in the backlight. The Volvos. It was the 70’s and the summer was in full bloom. The Police waved me in with the whole arm but I sailed pass them. I couldn’t stop. 

I didn’t have that kind of breaks on my VW Notchback that I drove while renovating a Camaro.

My breaks were meant for fine, planned slowing downs. Not these kinds of spontaneous stops.

I signaled right and pushed the break onto the floor, the VW stopped 2018 yards ahead, put it in reverse and reversed on the edge.

–  Are you blind, boy? We waved you in.

– There was a backlight and I didn’t want to hit the brakes with the risk of alarming trailing traffic.

-Hmpf, license and breathalyzer.

I had never used alcohol and had always had a license so it was all good in the hood. I think that’s the reason why I could never own a Volvo. They are associated with so much trauma. You’ll never know with a Volvo in the dark.. 

It could be a cop, camouflaged and disguised. Never trust a newer kind of  Volvo.

I meet up with the gang from past times over coffee from time to time. They are always reminding me of things I repressed.

– Do you remember when someone gave you a Volvo and you were devastated?

Yeah, I remember alright. I was at work when the phone rang.
-Hey, Krantz. You can take my Volvo. A dark blue 144. Keys are in the ignition. Go get it for yourself.
– But I hate Volvo. I can’t …

– It’s in Byaker ( small village) by the roadside. It doesn’t start. You get it for free, for crying out loud. I’m off. Goodbye.
It had been -29 F the night before. With the sun in zenith it was up to -14. In about four hours it would be pitch black outside. I was stuck at work.

The co-workers where chuckling like crazy. They all knew about my Volvo-allergy. That’s when operation sale started.

Called around.
– You wanna buy a fine Volvo 144? A dark blue 69, top notch, real nice car. $150, fast deal.

– ?? What, but, why?
– I have one too many. What’s it goanna be? You wanna? A good-looking car.

After I while someone took the bait.
– Does it run alright?
–  Well of course it runs, runs perfectly aside from some mild twitching today. It’s in Byaker. Just to turn the key. Bring some gas-anti-freeze-alcoholic to put in the tank. The papers are probably in the glove box. $150 when we meet next time.
– Aha, well, aha …. well okey.

I never saw the car. Got the money a couple of weeks later. The guy told me he’d already sold it. The gang were laughing at the fact I managed to get 150 dollars out of it:
– Well, he did a fast count, said Roland. Do you remember when you bought the boat from me and we rented a boat trailer.

– Yeah, nah, what about that, I asked uncertain?
This is where the elbows flew up on the table. Now he was getting to the good stuff of my short comings.

– You still owe me $200 since like 30 years back, Roland said!
The table was about to tumble over from all the men with exited elbows suddenly invading the small space. I was still laid-back in the corner, blushing.
– What, no way Roland, I tried.

–  Ye, but you have always got a tendency to calculate and talk fast and when we were about to pick the boat up you didn’t have a no trailer, no tow hitch no nothing. You figured I got both tow hitch and a heavy load license so you suggested I rent a trailer, we would load the boat and drive it to your place.

It all came back to me, I remember everything now. Roland had been a high-level ice hockey defenseman and was big as a house. He had thrown the 70 hp Volvo Penta over his shoulder, strolled uphill and put it down on the trailer.

For years after i tried getting it over my shoulders without succeeding but Roland just leaned it against his bull neck and strode away that day.

– Hey little man, I said at the table, of course I know about that. I paid the boat in the car, knucklehead.

The giant smiled.
Yeah, it’s just that you.. Eeh, it’s not of relevance now but … He paused for like an eternity and looked irresolute while the other vultures looked like they were about to implode of withheld laughter.

– Tell him, tell him, they almost screamed.
– It’s all in your head, just fantasies, I yelled while Roland gathered himself to add up the math.

– This is how it went down, he said after a while.
After we unloaded the boat at your place and rode the car back to my place where you had your car, you were to pay for the boat and everything. Then this is what you told me:

–  “So, you wanted $1600 for the boat and then you rented the trailer and pulled it with your car as well. I will discount $75 for the rental plus $90 for gas. That’s $1435 total. Thank you so much for all the help. “
-You put $1435 on the dash, said thank you and left.

The table was static. Everybody waited on what to come next.
– I was really pleased as I drove into town , Roland said.  I dropped off the rental and headed home. 

He kept a serious face, trying hard to hold on to the logic in the story.

–  When I got home I started wondering how the total ended up being 1435?
Around here it all came falling down.

The laughter exploded. One drooled on the table.

Roland didn’t hear a thing. He was deep in the discussion with himself and resumed the train of thought laboriously:

– Then I spent 20 years walking around thinking you owe me $165 for gas and the rental.

– Until one day ten years ago when I realized that 1435 plus 165 is 1600, which is what I wanted for the boat in the first place ?!
At this point, you could barely hear him. The compadres whimpered, with their arms around their stomachs, shaking.

Big Roland, frowned, inhaled and finished the equation.
I would have had… let’s see seventeen hundred sixty-five. Not fourteen hundred thirty-five. That’s like a double minus calculation. His face finally relaxed after this strain.  He had crossed the finish line, lit up like the sun and added… You darn conman!

The one who’d drooled on the table was all red and wiped some tears from the corner of his eye. The other ones were on the floor, cramping.
– Not the least bit funny.